Recently my husband and I took his mom for a special lunch in a restaurant which is located in a historic hotel. The occasion was a celebration of her 80th birthday. It was a first for Mom; she had often thought of taking a look in that beautiful old hotel, but never had. She was tickled pink.
She told us of all the wonderful well wishes she had been receiving. One was a birthday card from her sister many miles away.
A friend called me looking for some advice. She had just spoken with her sister, and it was clear that she was very worried. Their father died less than a year ago, and things were starting to unravel for their mother. She was now lonely, getting forgetful and simply not taking care of herself. The immediate issue was that she had fallen, and although not hurt, she was afraid to be alone. My friend and her sister were facing the emotionally difficult reality that they needed to start planning with their mother for her future. Their question was where on earth do they start? My first response was to congratulate them. They had taken the first step - recognizing that it was time to take some action before there was a more serious crisis.
In preparing to write an article about helping your parents choose a Retirement Residence or an Assisted Living Residence, I thought I should consult with the real experts so I spoke with several residents living in a few different residences. I asked each of them this question: "What advice would you give me if I was helping my mom find a place like this?" I got a great deal of very good advice from people who had actually been through the process of coming to terms with the need to move out of their homes, and been through the process of finding a place that would meet their needs. Here are the stories of their experience and some of advice they passed along to me.
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