I’ve always believed in the parenting principle of finding out what your kids like the most…and then taking it away from them as a form of punishment. The thing is, kids are very transparent, or “authentic” in today’s social media terminology. They simply cannot hide when there is a toy they really love, a friend they prefer over all others, or an activity they can’t wait to do.  Favourite things vary for each child, and of course this changes for the child themselves as they go through different ages and stages. I have four children, and taking away Star Wars Lego is a much bigger punishment for my nine year old son than it is of course for his 18 year old brother.  On the other hand, they’d both feel the pain from an imposed Xbox ban; something that wouldn’t bother either one of my daughters at all.  I even have one child who would be extremely unhappy if I didn’t let him mop the kitchen floor anymore. (I rarely use this as punishment; why deny him such fun? )