It was right after I left the restaurant on Mother’s Day that I felt the urge to campaign for a new recognized celebration Non-Mother’s Day. Not that I wanted the decorative mug with chocolates each mother received after the lunch, (the candy bouquet would have been picked clean on the ride home) it was the principle of the whole thing.  Three women at the table received a gift, I remained empty handed. There was an assumption made that I was not a mother because I didn’t walk in with children.  If they would have asked I would have told them “I was a parent to my dog for 15 years who was completely dependent and never left home” and “Hello, I have a husband...doesn’t that count for something?”

Certainly I think that Mother’s Day should receive all the attention it does.  Wouldn’t trade it for the world, but let’s get a little balance here and show Non- mothers some respect.  Non-mothers are great friends, we listen to hours upon hours of talk about children, each of our friends hanging on every word their child has ever uttered and marvelling over every action. We don’t mind, that’s what we are here for; good listeners, supportive and patient. We have arranged our schedules numerous times just to accommodate our special “mother” friends; we only invest in pencils now. Babysitting is offered and let me tell you there is far more thought going into how to keep little Suzie occupied when you haven’t got a clue what Suzie is interested in or often what language she’s speaking. There should be manuals that come with each child before handing them off. 

Non-mothers attend baby showers, labouring over the appropriate gift, even though most the time we can’t figure out the sizing or what the heck we are looking at. This leads me to an embarrassing non-mother moment in which at a baby shower I won a prize for having the worst score in the “Name that item on the tray” contest.  I had split seconds to see the items, it wasn’t fair, especially the breast pump that contraption through me right off my game!

Just because we don’t have children doesn’t mean our days aren’t interrupted by those little cherubs. Sit in a restaurant these days and try not to be disturbed by a Jack in the box springing up behind your booth. Both child and parents find that one cute, me not so much.  Then there is all the discipline that happens when children and youth are out in public without their parents, that’s where us non-mothers step up to correct behaviour. 

Non-mothers can find themselves more in charge of the care of elderly parents. That’s hard to do, similar care but a real delicate situation. It occurred to me recently how that responsibility was assigned out of the shear thought that non-mother’s have way more time on their hands. I haven’t found that to be so; men are like slugs they leave a trail wherever they go, I’m in a constant state of pick up or shouting instructions. The seven loads of laundry I do per week, household maintenance, remembering my appointments and those of my husband’s along with my job means I flop into bed at the end of the day. Once in bed I run through the home security check again, make note of tomorrows schedule and wish I had a kid to train like my mother did. (Cheaper labour and you can call it preparing them for life.)

On top of our other daily responsibilities at work, home and in relationships we provide enumerable support to the valuable calling of motherhood. Non mothers can be healers, teachers or guides that in turn help mothers with their lives or children; everyone benefits.

I’m not one hundred percent sure how Non-Mothers Day could be celebrated but I think it would be nice to go for lunch or dinner too. Non mothers may be asked “So, what is happening in your life?” “How are you?” and then there would be time devoted to conversation without being interrupted.  Oh, and “Yes we will have the candy bouquet mug”, we deserve it.