"Company's coming!"

Are these words exciting or terrifying for you? They may create a flight or fight response leading to one of the following reactions: "I'm out of here." or "Who? What? When? Why didn't you talk to me first?" With either of these situations, the possibility exists that a heated conversation will follow. I've always been excited at the prospect of company – family, friend or stranger. I love welcoming people into our home. I find the planning and preparation enjoyable. Even housecleaning becomes an acceptable way to spend time; as guests are a primary motivator to get/keep the house clean. For me each individual is a gift, our time together precious and hopefully a treasured memory. Murray, my husband, and I have been told we share the gift of hospitality, which I am extremely thankful for as welcoming guests is something we both enjoy; I was puzzled that for others it is often a stressful undertaking, especially as many of these same people share stories of times when they gathered in the homes of neighbours and friends. The stories usually start with "When we were kids..." or "When our kids were young..." and end with "Nobody does that anymore." My curious mind wants to understand what changed and why.

You don't have to look far to find magazine headlines indicating articles offering valuable insights and help for "Holiday Entertaining". In a quick Google search of "Holiday Entertaining", the first link directed me to Martha Stewart's website. I credit her for building an empire on her interests and skills; however, she helped create a prevalent mindset that homes or lifestyles may lack what is necessary to welcome others. Other articles uncovered how entertaining is about the host(s) and making an impression, while hospitality is more guest focused. In discussing this with a friend, she felt hospitality was perhaps an old fashioned word for entertain; however, none of these explanations provided an answer to satisfy me.

Believing words have power and power creates the world we live in both individually and collectively, I looked to etymology (the history and evolution of words) to provide a better understanding of the difference. Entertain at its root is "to keep up, maintain, to keep (someone) in a certain frame of mind"[i], while hospitality derives from the Latin hospes, which is formed from hostis, which originally meant "to have power."[ii]

My interpretation: to entertain from its earliest appearance in the English language (15^th century) carries a responsibility for others both physically and mentally; while, with hospitality (14^th century) there is power to make a difference. Perhaps both consciously and unconsciously, entertaining is avoided because it is perceived as a burden. Given the many expectations and responsibilities in both the home and workplace, another thing on the to-do list can be overwhelming; however, it is still undertaken because it is expected.

If the root explanation embodies its essence, we are empowered to practise hospitality. Sometimes, it is nice to colour outside the box and do what isn't expected and perhaps practising hospitality provides the opportunity for that. Dr. Wayne Dyer teaches that "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." Rather than walking from this power, we need to embrace it not only during the holiday season but all year long. Each of us has what it takes to make others feel warm, welcome and valued. We have the ability to make a difference.

Hospitality's power not only helps us to succeed with opening our homes but more importantly aids us in opening our hearts. Through hospitality, we have the opportunity to connect with others on a deeper level, enriching thoughts, experiences and lives. An introduction of strangers in your home might be the first step of a lifelong friendship, a new business opportunity or perhaps even love. To me life is about relationships. Not everyone that comes across your path becomes your intimate friend; however, every person and every meeting has the opportunity to teach you something about this journey we all are on. Be in the moment, learn from differences, and enjoy your company, yourself and the memories being made.

I would like to share with you one of my favorite resources Cooking Light - Holiday Open House Menu

Wishing you a joyous and peaceful Christmas!

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[i] Etymonline.com. November 7, 2011. <http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=entertain>

[ii] Wikipedia. November 7, 2011. <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hospitality>